The Body is Political: Part 6

My 16-year-old daughter plays lacrosse and often practices in our front yard. At least, she used to. Last year, two grown men in a black pickup truck drove slowly by and yelled obscenities at her. She came in, crying and shaken. Apparently, they didn’t like our inclusive Pride flag so they took it out on a child. 

Across the street from our local library, a religious group and the Proud Boys use megaphones and speakers to shout horrific accusations and slurs as children arrive for story time. Parasol Patrol volunteers line the sidewalk between the hate group and the library. Holding our rainbow umbrellas to block the protestors and their cameras, we escort families from their cars to the library doors. We offer noise-canceling headphones for the younger children and cheer all of them on. Inside, Miss B reads Not Quite Narwhal and I Am Perfectly Designed. Outside, Parasol Patrol chats and laughs while we ignore the protestors and wait to escort the families back to their cars. Once, I asked a parent if they wanted headphones for their child. The parent replied, “I don’t shield her from hate: I teach her to kick its a–.” But sometimes, the hate comes from people who are bigger, scarier, meaner, and more powerful than we are.

The most vile things I’ve ever heard were shouted by a pastor at a child under the age of 6. 

At our local all-ages drag show, the venue owner/event organizer has a strict policy: no sexual content of any kind. And I’ve never seen anyone try for sexiness. Instead, the kids mostly dress up as their favorite characters and sing songs about power and self-love. I don’t think we need to punch at other people to make a point, but it’s interesting that a large chunk of America thinks it’s ok to sexualize little girls as long as it’s specifically for men’s pleasure, as in child beauty contests, but those same people scream “pedophile” if other children wear tutus. 

There have been a lot of calls for reconciliation, for meeting in the middle. We’ve become too divided, they protest, and we need to set aside our political differences. To be clear, I will not meet in the middle with oppressors. I don’t want to sit down at a table with two men who think it’s ever acceptable to shout “f–ing f–t” out the window of their truck, let alone men who aim those slurs at a child. I don’t want to compromise with a pastor who describes sexual acts in detail to children who love rainbows and kitties and books. 

This is a hard line for me. People who think me and my family shouldn’t exist have no right to our energy or our time. If my body is going to be political anyway, I’ll use it to support a politics of transformative justice. Other people are willing to work with oppressors but I’m not. Instead, I’ll put my energy into cheering for children who know who they are and live that with joy.

The Body is Political: Part 1 (Intimate Partner Physical Abuse)

The Body is Political: Part 2 (Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse)

The Body is Political: Part 3 (Women Denied What Men Control)

The Body is Political: Part 4 (Gay All Year)

The Body is Political: Part 5 (Controlling Images)